Still Alive
Yeah, I'm still here, still trying to figure out that whole wife/family/poker equation. Thanks all for all your help. I'm wondering now if the only real solution here could end up being my retirement from online poker.
She still complains about the time I spend playing, even though I've cut back from about 2500-3000 hands/week to about 500 hands in the last two weeks. She even went far enough to claim that I was lying about my successes online, despite me showing her all my NetTeller transactions, AND PokerTracker databases, and the lovely things that the money seemed to be coming from nowhere to buy. I was saving a significant portion of my paycheck for our family. Since she's been on maternity leave (and only receiving disability) that money has only gone to our bills, and she keeps her disability for spending money. I've managed to save more money (from poker) than I did before. This fact didn't change things.
She told me that what I claim to have done with online poker (depositing $200 and making over $10k) is virtually impossible without pure luck. I explain to her that out of 30 million or so Americans who play poker, that I am likely very safely in the top 5%. This fact didn't change things.
I'm not sure I have an out here. She disagrees with the fundamental thought of me playing poker because playing poker = gambling, and her father has a very addictive personality, and it's only a matter of time before I gamble our home away. Mind you, I play with likely the most stringent stop-loss limits out there, and when I go to the casino, I take enough money to play my game of choice (the highest game I would play), $50 extra for food and tips, my Ez-Pass for tolls, and leave my MAC card and credit cards at home. I don't even KNOW the PIN numbers for my credit cards. These facts didn't change things.
She also knows that I derive income from advertising here and moderating over at Vegas Poker Pro. This fact didn't change things.
Regardless, I fear I'm drawing very thin here. I may have to just fold my hand and walk away.
Still working on a compromise...Wish me the best!
She still complains about the time I spend playing, even though I've cut back from about 2500-3000 hands/week to about 500 hands in the last two weeks. She even went far enough to claim that I was lying about my successes online, despite me showing her all my NetTeller transactions, AND PokerTracker databases, and the lovely things that the money seemed to be coming from nowhere to buy. I was saving a significant portion of my paycheck for our family. Since she's been on maternity leave (and only receiving disability) that money has only gone to our bills, and she keeps her disability for spending money. I've managed to save more money (from poker) than I did before. This fact didn't change things.
She told me that what I claim to have done with online poker (depositing $200 and making over $10k) is virtually impossible without pure luck. I explain to her that out of 30 million or so Americans who play poker, that I am likely very safely in the top 5%. This fact didn't change things.
I'm not sure I have an out here. She disagrees with the fundamental thought of me playing poker because playing poker = gambling, and her father has a very addictive personality, and it's only a matter of time before I gamble our home away. Mind you, I play with likely the most stringent stop-loss limits out there, and when I go to the casino, I take enough money to play my game of choice (the highest game I would play), $50 extra for food and tips, my Ez-Pass for tolls, and leave my MAC card and credit cards at home. I don't even KNOW the PIN numbers for my credit cards. These facts didn't change things.
She also knows that I derive income from advertising here and moderating over at Vegas Poker Pro. This fact didn't change things.
Regardless, I fear I'm drawing very thin here. I may have to just fold my hand and walk away.
Still working on a compromise...Wish me the best!
4 Comments:
Get some serious couples counseling right away. You need to iron out these issues if the marriage is worth saving, and you won't know that until you try to iron out the issues.
QL
It just seems like less difficulty to give up poker...
To me, it's simple: poker = unhappy wife. No poker = happy wife.
tony,
though our conversations have been small and limited, I look up to you in the poker world. i have learned more from your posts than I have from anyone else on BTP or anywhere for what matter. I hope you are able to find a way to keep poker in your life and contribute back to the community as you have always done... thanks for always lookin' out mang.
Tony,
I'd have to agree with pokerace on this one. You've already sacrificed much playing time, what more does she want? Of course women will never flat out tell you what they really want, so they go about it in circular ways...like accusing you of being a losing player, a degenerate gambler, a luckbox etc. What she really wants is for you to stop playing. The real question is are you the kind of guy that needs someone else's "permission" to dabble in a hobby? As far as I'm concerned, if there's a roof over your family's head, food on the table, and money for a rainy day, what you do with your discretionary income is your business and yours alone.
I may be oversimplifying things a bit as I don't know your entire situation, but nonetheless I hope it will be resolved in a mutally satisfactory way.
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